Friday, June 30, 2017

A Note from the MLA: Leela Sharon Aheer



The Newsy Neighbour Magazine
June Issue #116
Article Provided By: Leela Sharon Aheer


Hello Newsy Neighbour readers! UNITY UPDATE: As you know, my Party, the Wildrose, and the PCs have reached an agreement in principle to form a new Conservative party to take on the disastrous NDP Government in the next election. The Wildrose is a grassroots organization. You are in charge. 75% of Wildrose members MUST approve this for it to happen. If you ARE a member, you MUST register to vote at the July 22 Special General Meeting at www.wildrose.ca/sgm. If you cannot attend in person, there will be ways for you to vote. If you are NOT a member and want to have a say, you MUST join the Wildrose Party BEFORE July 8 and then register for the SGM. You can do that at www.wildrose.ca or call your local Constituency Association. Please help shape the future of this province.

As always, it is a privilege to write to you and as this is the Men’s Issue, I want to write about the men that I love, that I respect, who are my friends and who I trust. Fortunately for me, I am surrounded by men that bear all of these qualities in some weird and wonderful formula, and I am truly the luckiest woman alive because of the influence, compassion and integrity of the very special men in my life. As the Shadow Minister for Status Of Women, it is interesting and profoundly humbling to research men and the various issues they face. I have two sons, and I can honestly say that raising them has been the biggest joy of my life, and I am honoured to see what amazing young men they have become. One thing I notice is that they play down their issues, because it is assumed that whatever may be on their mind, my issues are worse. This misunderstanding of the nature of men inherently begins a cycle of silence that surrounds men as they try to work through their own problems. But gentlemen, it is time to talk about them.

Wouldn’t it be wonderful if you were able to solve the worlds problem by leaping a building with a single bound, or sweep your partner off their feet by spinning a web any size? Why is talking about men’s issues often interpreted as misogyny or weakness? It is time to change the discussion. Have you ever been encouraged to fight? Or were you encouraged to talk it out? We are raised in a very violent world, and aggression for men is sometimes considered a hot commodity, whether that is during a hockey game, fighting to save our country, or in business. The desire to win at any cost is rewarded by society, and this is hard to unlearn. Men are as prone to abuse as women, but it is different. They are the abusers and the abused, and are consistently more impacted by crimes that are violent.

Let’s talk about mental illness. I realize this is a difficult discussion. I also realize that I am not a therapist, but I simply comment on the things I see and read, so take these impressions and interpretations with a dash of good humour. The question you need to ask yourself is, are you pretending nothing is wrong? Talking about this stuff is very hard and probably why in some countries suicide is the biggest killer of young men. Young men and boys are subjected to media and a world that views them as uninspired. Well, I can tell you that gender does matter, and that you young men out there completely inspire me and keep working hard every day so you will live complete and full lives in a province we all love so much.

The incredible men that I have the pleasure of having in my life have taught me so much about emotion, about work ethic, about adapting, about education, and about pride. These are the things I have learned from these important men and boys. Why is there so much hostility when we speak about men’s issues? I think it is time to speak out with kindness and let’s have a conversation about what makes you tick!

I recently attended a meeting where men and women were working through their 12 steps of addiction. As an observer, I was completely blown away by the articulate, thoughtful, and insightful discussion that went on about this horrible disease of the mind - suicide on a schedule. The men who spoke told their stories with passion, and they were not afraid to show the deep fears they have about relapsing into drugs and alcohol, or what they have lost as a result of their addictions. It was overwhelming and humbling to listen to these stories. You are complex, insightful and diverse beings. You express your humanity very differently than women and that is something that enriches society.

When we talk of common experiences, it is liberating no matter what your gender. It increases our understanding of each other, and hopefully increases our respect for one another. One thing I tell my husband and my sons everyday is, “You are not alone,” and I think I do this for myself selfishly as much as for them. But it is helpful and fulfilling, and it gets me an extra hug and kiss on the cheek from my sons who tower above me now. Thank you for allowing me to attempt to write about this.

As always, we love to hear from you.

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