The Newsy Neighbour Magazine
June Issue #116
Article Provided By: Kathryn Hartwell
The other day I was having a sentimental moment and I
dug out all my past Issues of The Newsy. I found these in our Issue 19, which
was in May of 2009. holy “golfamania,” that was just about 100 Issues ago!!
Crazy, I guess after 8 years we could share them with your again without the
concern that you might remember them.
Top Ten Signs
You’re Golfing Too Much
When you pick something up off the floor, you have to
lean on your putter.
The only number on your speed dial is the local golf course.
You have your priorities in order: food, shelter, greens fees, job.
You tell the lost motorist that the gas station is only a par 4 away on the left.
You’d like to take off your glove but hey, why bother?
Whenever you see a hole in the ground, you squat, squint and read the line.
You’re vaguely aware of living with a woman, allegedly your wife.
You ask the shopper ahead in the checkout line if you can play through.
Before you pick up the salt shaker, you mark its position with a dime.
The only number on your speed dial is the local golf course.
You have your priorities in order: food, shelter, greens fees, job.
You tell the lost motorist that the gas station is only a par 4 away on the left.
You’d like to take off your glove but hey, why bother?
Whenever you see a hole in the ground, you squat, squint and read the line.
You’re vaguely aware of living with a woman, allegedly your wife.
You ask the shopper ahead in the checkout line if you can play through.
Before you pick up the salt shaker, you mark its position with a dime.
Welcome GOLFaholics! Here are some telltale signs you
may have a problem:
You take naps with your putter.
You have a pet name for any of your golf clubs and bag.
You schedule events, parties, or functions so they
won’t interfere with your tee time.
You spend over $300 on a new club solely for the hope
that you might gain an extra 3 yards with it.
You only remember the great shots you had… you’re in
complete denial about those bunkers.
You have nightmares about hitting the ball into
hazards or lake monsters eating your golf ball.
Your copy of Hogan’s 5 Lessons is the only book you
have opened in the last month.
You own a box of yellow balls solely because they show
up better in the snow. (Which means you plan on playing when it’s below 0!)
You clean your clubs more than your car.
You take your own putter to mini golf.
You think someday you’ll shoot your age, when a more
realistic goal would be to shoot your weight.
You know there’s more to life than golf, but you’re
not interested in finding out what it is.
You quit the game forever, twice a month.
You buy every new golf gizmo that comes out.
You think you’re skillful and everybody else is lucky.
You miss the ball, but still think it was a great
swing.
The new clubs you just bought cost more than your
mortgage and car payment combined.
You will happily drive over an hour to play a course,
but complain when the spouse wants to go somewhere ½ hour away.
No comments:
Post a Comment