September Issue 107
www.thenewsyneighbour.com
Provided by Darlis with Women Talk
“The difference between school and
life? In school, you’re taught a lesson and then given a test. In life, you’re
given a test and that teaches you a lesson.” ~ Tom Bodett
You’ve had them… I’ve had them… we have all had thousands of
them and we will continue to have them our entire lives. I’m referring to life
experiences. Most of the time, we are not fully aware that our day is a series
of experiences... we simply go about our day.
When we have a significant experience, however, the natural
reaction is to label it as a good or a bad experience. Hmmm, is it truly good
or bad, or is it whatever we choose it to be?
With the new school year just started, I consider how in school
we are given knowledge that we are expected to understand and learn. If we
didn’t understand it, we at least tried to memorize it before the inevitable test
(insert unpleasant flashback of chemistry class and the periodic table!). The
teacher has made it clear there is a right and a wrong answer to the questions
we will be asked.
But is that true? I’m sure I gave more than one teacher a
grey hair or two as I passionately gave different perspectives to the lessons
being taught. I questioned the accuracy of history records, debated the interpretation
of poetry and pointed out on several occasions that there was more than one way
to calculate the ‘right’ answer in algebra. It seems that I’ve always seen
value in different perspectives, which caused me to question the theory of
things being right or wrong, good or bad.
How is it that two people can have the exact same experience
and yet their interpretation or recollection of the experience can be
completely different? Over the years I have discovered that how we understand
situations and events is directly related to our past experiences, values,
beliefs, culture, attitude and many other factors.
There is a story about two brothers who grew up with a very
harsh father. As adults, one brother was angry and bitter and when asked why,
he said, “With a father like mine, how could I not be?” The other brother grew
up to be caring and compassionate and when asked why, he said, “With a father
like mine, how could I not be?” Both of these men had the same experience with
their father and yet chose to interpret the experience differently and as a
result, had a different approach to life.
At the monthly Women Talk meetings in Strathmore, women tell
their stories… their experiences from their perspective. Some of the stories
are humourous and enlightening, while others are sad, shocking and tug at your
heart-strings. And yet, every story is inspiring because the women are not
bitter about any of their experiences. Instead, they speak about the lessons
they learned and the awareness they gained. They offer insights into how they
now see the world. They acknowledge how the experience, which may have caused
them great pain, has made them stronger, bolder, wiser and more motivated to
make a difference in the world. They do not express resentment, bitterness or
hopelessness but speak of healing, compassion and of the enduring human spirit.
Is that what life experiences really are? If we do not judge
them as being good or bad, but simply a ‘test’ that brings learning, can we
reduce the distressing emotions we often feel with some experiences? And is it
by looking for the lesson in our experiences and the experiences of others that
we can change how we see the world and bring about lasting positive change in
our lives and the lives of others? I believe this is true, but it only my
perspective. What’s yours?
"We don't see things as they
are, we see things as we are" ~ Anais Nin
For more information about the monthly WOMEN TALK
meeting in Strathmore, including how you may participate by attending or being
a Talker, please visit www.WomenTalk.ca/Strathmore
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