Tuesday, September 20, 2016

Women Talk: The School of Life

The Newsy Neighbour
September Issue 107
www.thenewsyneighbour.com

Provided by Darlis with Women Talk



“The difference between school and life? In school, you’re taught a lesson and then given a test. In life, you’re given a test and that teaches you a lesson.” ~ Tom Bodett

You’ve had them… I’ve had them… we have all had thousands of them and we will continue to have them our entire lives. I’m referring to life experiences. Most of the time, we are not fully aware that our day is a series of experiences... we simply go about our day. 

When we have a significant experience, however, the natural reaction is to label it as a good or a bad experience. Hmmm, is it truly good or bad, or is it whatever we choose it to be?

With the new school year just started, I consider how in school we are given knowledge that we are expected to understand and learn. If we didn’t understand it, we at least tried to memorize it before the inevitable test (insert unpleasant flashback of chemistry class and the periodic table!). The teacher has made it clear there is a right and a wrong answer to the questions we will be asked.

But is that true? I’m sure I gave more than one teacher a grey hair or two as I passionately gave different perspectives to the lessons being taught. I questioned the accuracy of history records, debated the interpretation of poetry and pointed out on several occasions that there was more than one way to calculate the ‘right’ answer in algebra. It seems that I’ve always seen value in different perspectives, which caused me to question the theory of things being right or wrong, good or bad.
How is it that two people can have the exact same experience and yet their interpretation or recollection of the experience can be completely different? Over the years I have discovered that how we understand situations and events is directly related to our past experiences, values, beliefs, culture, attitude and many other factors. 

There is a story about two brothers who grew up with a very harsh father. As adults, one brother was angry and bitter and when asked why, he said, “With a father like mine, how could I not be?” The other brother grew up to be caring and compassionate and when asked why, he said, “With a father like mine, how could I not be?” Both of these men had the same experience with their father and yet chose to interpret the experience differently and as a result, had a different approach to life. 

At the monthly Women Talk meetings in Strathmore, women tell their stories… their experiences from their perspective. Some of the stories are humourous and enlightening, while others are sad, shocking and tug at your heart-strings. And yet, every story is inspiring because the women are not bitter about any of their experiences. Instead, they speak about the lessons they learned and the awareness they gained. They offer insights into how they now see the world. They acknowledge how the experience, which may have caused them great pain, has made them stronger, bolder, wiser and more motivated to make a difference in the world. They do not express resentment, bitterness or hopelessness but speak of healing, compassion and of the enduring human spirit.

Is that what life experiences really are? If we do not judge them as being good or bad, but simply a ‘test’ that brings learning, can we reduce the distressing emotions we often feel with some experiences? And is it by looking for the lesson in our experiences and the experiences of others that we can change how we see the world and bring about lasting positive change in our lives and the lives of others? I believe this is true, but it only my perspective. What’s yours? 

"We don't see things as they are, we see things as we are" ~ Anais Nin
For more information about the monthly WOMEN TALK meeting in Strathmore, including how you may participate by attending or being a Talker, please visit www.WomenTalk.ca/Strathmore

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