The Newsy Neighbour
September Issue 107
www.thenewsyneighbour.com
Article Provided by Suzanne Shaver
This September is a first in my household. It is not, according to a certain office supply store, “the most wonderful time of the year”. You know, the time of year we all look at the budget and consider the need to skip a mortgage payment in order to outfit our kids with a growing list of school supplies (really? Two boxes of Kleenex for sharing? Each??).
And clothes. Let’s not forget the need for back-to-school clothes. (“what do you mean you need new clothes? Didn’t I just buy you a bunch of stuff at the end of school? I bought you “inside” shoes in April, for crying out loud, I don’t care if they make your toes squishy! And what happened to all those pants we bought? What do you mean they’re too short?!! Stop GROWING!”)
This is the time of year when I personally think a certain close relative of mine, who shall remain nameless, must look around at his brood of EIGHT and wonder, “why DIDN’T I get that vasectomy
earlier??” Actually, I have to think he has those thoughts around Christmas, birthdays and any time it’s necessary to navigate the logistics of getting eight different people to eight different after-school activities, which all fall on the same day, but that’s another issue altogether. There is a lesson though, about letting the number of bodies requiring chauffeuring outnumber the quantity of available chauffeurs in the household, but it probably doesn’t bear discussing here.
Regardless, this year we do not have to scramble to find the list of supplies, we don’t have to hit the stationary shops on school eve, we don’t have to hit the mall at all, because this spring was GRAD
YEAR!! Can I get a hallelujah?!!
But for the sake of nostalgia I decided to have a peek at the recommended school supply list, picking grade 9 at the Chestermere Middle School, just for fun. I see that it has actually gotten worse as one must now conjure up a laptop. And a minimum 8G USB memory stick. But other than that grimly expensive nod to the 21st century, which would have me wondering how long my boss would take to notice my laptop is MIA most days, the supplies are typical things, such as
• some binders
• paper to stick in the binders
• dividers to keep the paper separate in the binders
• a batch of duotangs for the paper that doesn’t appreciate a good binder
• reinforcements for holding the bargain bin cheap paper in the binders
• page protectors for those extra special papers in the binder
• pens, pencils, highlighters, glue stick, pencil crayons, sharpies or a case to hold all the above things in so they don’t get lost (no such case exists, FYI)
And of course the inevitable calculator of a specified brand and type that has been sold out since July, indoor shoes that will be grown out of in approximately 3 weeks and gym strip ( I never did figure out where exactly is the “strip” section of the local department store was).
After a brief peruse through some flyers I estimate I am saving approximately $968.22, plus or minus a laptop, by having children that are finally all over 18. That will buy a lot of drinks at the local pub to celebrate my good fortune… except the kids are over 18 and suddenly “eating out” has gotten extra, extra expensive with the addition of “drinking out”.
Maybe my close, unnamed relative needs a donation for his vasectomy fund instead…
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